In love...

So far, this pregnancy has been very matter of fact for me. Sure, there have been some emotional scary times (ie SCH/bleeding/bed rest) but even then I just didn't feel "connected" to the babies. I was feeling very guilty about this - and perhaps that's why I haven't mentioned it until now. Something happened today, I'm not sure what, but when I saw the girls it finally clicked and I fell head over heels in love with them. Perhaps it was seeing them look more like real babies and less like blobs, maybe it was because they were moving (even yawning!! aww!) so they seemed more "real" than when they were just so still - I'm not sure what exactly made me feel this way - but there's no turning back. I'm attached!!

We had our MFM (high risk doctor) monthly appointment today. Everything went well. Well, as far s the u/s and the girls went - we did have another long wait to get in - 50 minutes!! Ugh! Both A and I were a bit irritable by the time the u/s tech got us - but that quickly faded when we saw our girls.

Both girls are looking good - heartbeats were 147 & 125. Both within normal range - the doctor assured me the 125 was fine, Zara was probably just sleeping or on a "downtime". Which, is actually a bit shocking as she has been kicking up a storm lately! Perhaps she finally wore herself out!

Zara is measuring at 1 lbs 13 oz (74%!!) and Isla is 1 lbs 10 oz (49%) - so in comparison to singletons they are still doing very good - and for twins they are very healthy! He said we might start seeing a decline in weight/comparison around 30 weeks - that's when twins start falling behind - so that's why right now the protein intake is so important!

So, for right now both girls are on track, developing how they are supposed to and look all around healthy. We couldn't ask for more! Also, thankfully, in the last few weeks or so I have been doing good too - some aches and pains - which are going to be addressed through physical therapy - but nothing alarming or scary (i.e. contractions/bleeding/dehydration). Honestly, I'm feeling a bit like superwoman lately - a very tired, achy superwoman - but superwoman none the less. My body is doing something incredibly amazing - and it's doing it relatively well!! Go body!!

On to the pictures of the girls (I bet some of you didn't even read the text above ;)). I think I'm going to start referring to them as "my little divas" as they are being quite the divas lately!! This really should be no shocker, considering they are my kids. It took the tech a few tries to get their pictures - they kept wiggling and putting their hands over their faces just like last time. They must think they are Kim Kardashian's daughters - no pictures until they're paid big bucks! Sorry girls - there is no connection to the Kardashian bloodline - show your faces!!

Isla - look at that cute little face!! 

Zara - trying her best to hide, but we got a profile! 

Look at that cute little hand - the pinky is wrapped around the toes!! 

Week 24

Well, happy Validity Day to me and the girls!! Glad we've made it this far, but I stand by my earlier post about not finding it a big reason to celebrate other than it's just another milestone that gets us a bit closer to meeting the girls!   The girls are each measuring as long as a footlong sub!  Bet that will make eating your next Subway sandwich a bit more interesting!  This measurement makes perfect sense considering the size of the belly I'm rocking lately!   This week the girl's skin is starting to become more skin-like, meaning it's not transparent anymore and it's starting to gain a pinkish glow to it.  

Total weight gain: Thankfully, I'm the same! Hanging out at the 30-35 pound weight gain.  That makes me happy after such a huge jump in weight!  It now equals to a 1.5lbs gain a week - which is, again, what the doctor wants.  I'm supposed to gain 45-50 by the time this is done...not sure how that's going to make me feel as I'm already feeling huuuuuge! 

Maternity clothes: Thank goodness for leggings and skirts!! I'm living in this combo lately - and have been the most comfortable I've been (clothing wise) the whole pregnancy. 

Stretch marks: They're really building speed now - more (and darker) on my stomach, developing on my hips and thighs.  I'm going to be a mess of purple skin highways scrawled across my body!  It's all worth it though. 

Sleep: I'm sleeping much better than I have in the past.  Only getting up to use the restroom -but even that is happening less and less.  Will I perhaps get a full night's sleep again one day?!

Best moment of this week: Surviving! No, really.  The last few weeks have been really hard for me to make it all the way to Friday b/c I've gotten so tired and achy, but this week we had a day off in the middle (Wednesday) and I'm actually feeling good about finishing out this week! 

Miss anything: Being comfortable.  No matter how I sit/lay I cannot get comfortable.  My back is always hurting - then my hips.  Ugh! I can't wait to be able to just sit down and not ache! 

Movement: They're still moving & grooving! Zara has shockingly been more active this week.  However, when Isla decides to kick/punch you really know it - she's definitely pretty strong at this point!  You can feel her from the outside now (Allan keeps missing it :( ).  Not sure when I'll be able to feel Zara though - she's still really low down! 

Food cravings: Sherbert & 7up

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chicken.  Still.

Have you started to show yet: I've got two babies the size of footlong subs in my stomach - of course! 

Gender: Twice the serving of Sugar & Spice!

Labor signs: Thankfully, it was a quiet week!

Belly button in or out: In!!!! Still so excited!!

Wedding rings on or off: Off - and have been for awhile, however, I had a little pregnancy moment yesterday and teared up over the fact I can't wear them on my finger.

Mood most of the time:  This week has been hard.  I think my hormones are playing games with my emotions.  I'm trying to really keep a close eye on it though and make sure that when I do get upset/cry that I turn it around pretty quickly. 

Looking forward to: Next week.  I have two u/s appointments.  One on Tuesday with the OB and then one on Wednesday with the MFM.  Truth be told, I'm more excited for the one on Wednesday b/c Allan will get to go - and the u/s they do is much more in-depth and detailed.  It's only been two weeks, but I'm ready to see the girls again. 

Dear Macey's...

Today I will be sending the following Thank You note to a local grocery store.  Here it is:

Dear Macey's...

You were not always my favorite grocery store.  In fact, I try to avoid you during the day because you are always so busy and your parking lot is crazy - which I'm sure is in direct correlation to your awesome prices and selection.  Seriously, you'd be my go-to shop if it wasn't so hectic to get in!   However, yesterday, this all changed.

You see, I am 6 months pregnant (with twins, so I'm huge!) and as I was standing in line to buy some H2O, juice and muffins before work, my husband looks over at me and says, "Oh no, you're super pale are you okay?"  To which I quietly reply, "Yeah, I'm fine, I just need some sugar or something soon."

A few more minutes it's our turn to checkout.  The cashier was the sweetest person ever.  She grabbed my muffins quickly and said, "Do you want one of these now? Will that help you feel better?"  What?! I didn't even know she could hear us way back in the line!  I don't know why, but it just touched my heart that she took a minute out of her busy morning to try and make me feel better.

To top it off? She then said, "Are you sure you're okay?"  I replied I was fine, just needed breakfast and laughed it off a bit, to which she said, "Well, you look great this morning!"  Really??  The whole 4 minute interaction just made my whole day.  I've really been struggling with embracing my ever-growing body - and not only was she checking in on me to make sure I felt okay - but also - she complimented how I looked?!

It was probably the best moment I've ever had at a grocery store and one I won't soon forget.  Thank you for having such wonderful staff members who go above and beyond at their jobs.  It really does make a difference.

Thank you,

A very pregnant woman!

V-Day shenanigans

It's coming. And it's coming soon.  Viability day, or as the savvy women on The Bump call it, "V-day".  V-day happens on the day you hit 24 weeks in your pregnancy.  Basically, what it boils down to is, before this day if you were to happen to go into labor the doctors would not try to resuscitate the baby.  On or after this day, the doctors will try to resuscitate the baby and the NICU will do whatever they can to keep your baby alive. It's a good thing, right?

Of course it is.  Actually, I remember stepping into week 16 and 17 thinking, "I've made it this far, why wouldn't the doctors try to save my babies lives now, if something were to happen? It's not fair!"   Here's the thing, a lot happens in the second trimester - I started to feel more connected to the babies because I was starting to show, feel the babies move and even started making baby purchases.   That baby inside me, that is my baby.  And damn it, I'm already a protective mama bear.

 After my week long tantrum I began to think about it rationally again.  The reality is so much more than my emotional connection to these girls.  The babies are just not ready to be born.  Even at 24 weeks, the possibility that they would make it, and not have severe brain damage, breathing complications, etc are very slim.  Do some babies who are born at 24 weeks make it just fine? Sure.  But not the majority. Don't just take my word for it, the guys over at The American Pregnancy Association will give you all the nitty gritty on being born before 36 weeks.  It's not pretty.

So, with all of that being said - I have mixed feelings on V-Day.  Is it a really great milestone in a woman's pregnancy? Absolutely.  Is it cause for celebration? Well, I'm not convinced.  I'm excited to hit this milestone - to be 24 weeks along - but I'm not sure I'll be "relieved" when this day comes by any means.  I need these babies to hang on for at least 12 more weeks - 13-14 being prime.  But I by no means will be "okay" if they come the day after V-Day just b/c it means they can.

Stay in there ladies - and just keep doing your thing like nothing ever changed come Friday/V-Day...b/c as far as I'm concerned, nothing has.

Week 23

23 weeks today!! I cannot believe how fast time is going by.  If all goes as planned that means I have 13-14 more weeks, or, less than 100 days until the girls are here.  Crazy!! I can't even wrap my head around that!! I now have 7 days until Viability Day and only 4 weeks until my 3rd trimester! I know, I know, I'm getting ahead of myself.  So, remember how I was all, "I'm so sick of the fruit, blah, blah, blah?"  Well, The Pregnant Chicken doesn't measure the baby for week 23 -she only talks about gestational diabetes.  Ugh. So back to the fruit.  The girls are now the size of grapefruits.  They are about 10.5-11.8 inches long from head to rump.  Their faces are fully formed now, but still need to fatten up a bit.  Both girls are now listening to me talk and can even hear loud outside noises such as dogs barking and an ambulance going by!

Total weight gain: I think I'm still hanging on around that 30-35 mark.  I'm slightly freaked about the weight gain (more about how I'm going to lose it) but everybody keeps telling me it's normal.  So I'm just trying to go with it at this point.

Maternity clothes: Target's clothes fit SO much better! I've been rocking my new outfits all week and loving them.  The only problem is, I'm missing pants right about now.  I only really fit into skirts and dresses at this point - but it'd be nice to just be able to throw on a pair of jeans and a tank today.  Not going to happen (although now I might give it a try) though.  Boo!

Stretch marks: Sure thing.  I'm also adjusting to those - as people keep saying, "they're supposed to happen" or "Oh, that's normal!"

Sleep: Crazy pregnancy dreams are back in full force.  Example? Last night I had a dream I was part of a pregnancy prostitution ring so I could afford to buy the glider I want for the nursery!! Lol Don't worry, a friend came to the rescue and rehabilitated me...but it was so strange!

Best moment of this week: I got to see both girls move and kick around on Tuesday.  Wish they would've shown me their faces, but, we'll try that again on the 31st.

Miss anything: Being able to move without hurting.  Oh, and also being able to move without rolling myself around - I have to roll to get up from the couch, from the floor with the kiddos and pretty much any other position that requires me to do anything but stand.  I'm pretty much a huge rolly polly bug at this time.

Movement: Finally!! I can feel both girls at night when I lay down now.  I can also feel them after dinner time- the doctor said this is probably b/c I'm relaxed and not doing a million things at once.  Also, Zara loves OJ in the morning - so after a few sips of that I can usually feel her flipping around.

Food cravings: Yogurt and cheese.  I have been eating sweet things more than savory things lately.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Chicken.  Still.

Have you started to show yet: Absolutely.

Gender: Twice the serving of Sugar & Spice!

Labor signs: Thankfully, it was a quiet week!

Belly button in or out: In!!!! So excited!!

Wedding rings on or off: Off - and have been for awhile, however, I had a little pregnancy moment yesterday and teared up over the fact I can't wear them on my finger.

Mood most of the time: I've been really tired this week - and even though I'm happy - it's made me feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day every day.  Fun, eh?

Looking forward to: honestly? The weekend.  I'm SO tired this week - even just walking from my car into work seems like a job.  I'm going to try to catch up on some major rest this weekend.

We all have a bit of a celebrity complex...figures!

I have a (not so) secret obsession with trashy celebrity magazines.  US, OK, Star, you name it - I like it!  Well, I draw the line at the paper ones like The National Enquirer...I'm too classy for those!  Anyway, I never really thought these magazines would harm me in anyway - they were more of a way for me to find out what was happening with my favorite celebrities while giving my brain a break from my real life, hard hitting thinking!

Well, was I ever wrong!  I know, I know, I don't say that often.  You might want to screenshot that!  But not only have the babies started to pick up celebrity-like qualities at such a young age - apparently my body wants to get in on being a celebrity too!

I'll start with the girls update.  Both are doing well, one is weighing in at an astounding 1 lbs, 4 oz.  The other at 1 lbs, 3 oz.  I love how they have only ever been 1 oz off from each other this whole pregnancy!  And for the first time, they are both measuring the exact same: 23 weeks!  So, 3 days ahead of schedule! Good job ladies, just keep on growing like this and we'll be just fine!  This is where the celebrity characteristics kick in - neither girl would show their face...again!  It's been since 16 weeks since I've gotten a good face picture - and that was a profile! I just picture them in there all, "No pictures dahhhhhling!" Fancy babies.  Here - this picture pretty much explains it all! 

Not sure if you can really see what this is - but if you look towards the right, it's the babies head (if you're good you can check out that cute button nose) and then the big thing over her head?  Her fist - covering her face! Seriously!? On the far left the other big white blob is her flexed foot - according to the u/s tech and all that rope-looking stuff is her umbilical cord (gross!).  Anyway, this was better than her sister who buried her face in the placenta (gross again!!) to get away from having her picture taken.  

This was the best photo of the bunch - a picture of Isla's legs and little belly! Looks like she might have some long legs on her! Still, what kind of lady would prefer to show her legs and bum off instead of her face? Following in the steps of Rihanna is not okay there, Isla.  Ever. 

Thankfully both girls have 2 more weeks until their next photo shoot - and I'm going to have many talks with them about actually showing their faces and not other body parts.  I'm glad you have legs, toes, a belly, etc...but I want to see that face! 

So, where does that leave me?  Well, my body has decided to go all Lindsay Lohan - minus the drugs and alcohol.  Think LiLo before she was a hot mess - when she was just admitted to the hospital all the time for dehydration/exhaustion.  That's right - I'm dehydrated!  Grr!! I've been drinking the amount of water that they've told me to - but apparently that's not good enough.  Z & Lala have been sucking the moisture right out of me and now I'm dehydrated.  The doctor now wants me to drink 128 oz (1 gallon!!!) of water a day on top of my Gatorade and juice in the morning.  That's SO much water.  Also, I'm going to be admitted to the Infusion Center tomorrow at the hospital to get 1-2 bags of fluids administered via IV to kick start this hydration process.  Wish me luck. 

Well, after all this drama I'm seriously considering not reading these celebrity rags anymore...oh, who am I kidding! Poor Allan is going to have to put up with living with 3 divas from now on!! ;) I've got to know what's going on with the Kardashian's and Kate M's royal pregnancy!!!! 

Really?

I don't mind people I know commenting on how I look during this pregnancy.  As a matter of fact, most of the time I'm likely the one to bring it up.  But until today, strangers have stayed far away from this subject - actually, when buying baby stuff at TJMAXX the girls always ask, "Are you getting this for a baby shower?" And I side-eye them wondering if they think I just ate a really big lunch.  But, I am now thankful for this tact - as today I got my first stranger "you're biiiiiiiiiiig" comment.  Here's how it went down:

Setting:  After sitting at the civil surgeon's office for an hour, 30 minutes after the appointment time, Allan and I are escorted to the tiny exam room by a very eccentric looking nurse.  At this time I realize I'm super hungry and I have to pee, like yesterday! I can only fix one of these problems and ask her where the bathroom is (mind you I'm a bit irritable at this point):

Start scene:
Me: Is there a bathroom nearby?
Nurse: Oh yes, of course! Looks like you'll be a mama any day now!
Me: Um...no, I'm only 22 weeks pregnant.  (Cue the stare down and lack of mentioning I'm having twins b/c I want to make her slightly uncomfortable about implying I was big enough to give birth "any day now")
Nurse:  Oh.  Um.  Well, you look great for 22 weeks!!!!
Me: (Slight chuckle) Thanks, I am carrying twins, so I guess I look further along than I really am.
Nurse: (Obvious sigh of relief) The bathroom is right there!

Really, lady? You really think it's okay to comment on a pregnant woman's size.  It's never okay. Ever.  While it's never okay to ask a women if she's pregnant - I think it should also be stated it's never okay to make a comment about her size unless you are a close friend or relative - or privy to information of the pregnancy - like the woman's OB!!

True story...

This happens when you're pregnant - and it's not pretty!  Thankfully, b/c I've dealt with being hypoglycemic (opposite of diabetes) since I was very young, eating small meals every 2-3 hours is second-nature to me these days, so the state of "hangry" stays at bay most of the time.  However, when I forget to eat, too busy to eat or just don't feel like eating hangry hits with a vengeance.  Admittedly, I turn into an complete and utter bitch to be around when I'm hangry - and most of the time it happens around Allan, lucky guy.  He innocently will say, "Um, lovey, I think you need to eat something."  That's nice, right?  Well, in my state of hangry this simple sentence sends me into a complete rage!! I get pissed and usually yell, "No I don't - I'm being serious right now - it's not always about food" or some nonsense like that.  But secretly I know he's right so I check myself and get some food.  Within about 5-10 minutes I'm back to my lovely state of just being me and I feel horribly guilty - so I apologize - usually 2-3 times.  Thankfully, I have the most amazing husband and he just laughs it off and accepts the apology.  What a guy!!

The point of all of this?  Don't mess with a pregnant woman when she's hangry - it won't turn out well for any involved!

Week 22...Barbie Dolls!

Reporting to you from week 22 today!! The girls are now the length of barbie dolls!  (BTW - I'm following The Pregnant Chicken measuring chart now - The Bump fruit thing was starting to annoy me with such obscure fruit!)!  The girls both have eyebrows and eyelashes now. The babies are also now starting to sleep in "cycles" and will sleep 12-14 hours a day.  The exciting news?  I'm 2 weeks away from my "viability" day (when, if something happens, the doctors will actually try to resuscitate the girls) and only 5 weeks away from the 3rd trimester! Boy, did this pregnancy go by quickly!!!

Total weight gain: No idea, I was at the doctors yesterday and didn't dare look. My mental state couldn't handle it.

Maternity clothes: I bought a crap-load of clothes from Old Navy and they were delivered last weekend.  It was a disappointing delivery.  All of the clothes fit wrong, had strange stripes, or were just big enough for my bump now - aka no growing room - which won't work b/c I potentially have 15 more weeks of being pregnant and growth.  I cried.  A lot.  Then I decided to return those and order a bunch of dresses (as they are flowy so my belly should fit) from Target.  They should arrive today - I'm hoping it goes a bit better.

Stretch marks: Yep, all over the place.  I did show Allan the other day and he was the absolute best. Me:  Wanna see something gross (lifting up my shirt).  Allan: Oh, your mummy smiles (UK term?) those aren't gross - those are your tiger stripes.  I just love that man!! 

Sleep: Soooooo much better!! I'm not only getting up about an hour or so after I fall asleep to use the restroom and then I'm out for the count!

Best moment of this week: At night, when I lay down, I can feel Zara moving very lightly.  It's great but it makes whatever happens throughout the day worth it as I know when I lay down for bed I'll get to feel a baby move.

Miss anything: Back to missing wine.  I would love a glass of SUPER cold white wine after work when it's so hot out! It's just so refreshing!

Movement: I am starting to feel Zara a bit.  I still don't feel Isla much, actually, I've only felt her once.  I think it's okay though b/c she's the one with the tricky placenta.

Food cravings: Nothing much this week.

Anything making you queasy or sick: I should just never change this one: Meat.  I can do anything but chicken.  I made some chicken enchiladas the other day b/c I was craving Mexican - I had about 2 bites and had to give the rest to Allan.

Have you started to show yet: There's no hiding it now!

Gender: 2 little girls!

Labor signs: Not yet, although, I went to the OB yesterday b/c when I called them to describe what was going on they thought I was possibly having early contractions.  Turns out Zara has just shoved her head down into my pelvic bone and since there's not a lot of room in there it's causing my already stretched and achy muscles to stretch and ache even more.  Phew! I'll take pain over early contractions!

Belly button in or out: In!!!! So excited!!

Wedding rings on or off: Off - and have been for awhile, however, I had a little pregnancy moment yesterday and teared up over the fact I can't wear them on my finger.

Mood most of the time: So far this week it's been really stable and happy!  No more emotional meltdowns!!

Looking forward to: I have an ultra scan appointment on Tuesday - I won't see the doctor or anything, it's just to check growth and cervical length (Sorry, TMI - but that's to make sure the babies don't have a chance of coming early and it will start to happen on 2xmonth basis).  I'm looking forward to seeing the little ladies, but also, hoping I get some pictures! This tech likes showing us 3D photos.  While they creep me out - t

hey are kind of cool!

21 weeks!!

Well, we are 21w1d today (sorry, a bit behind on my update!).  The girls are the size of the world's largest gummy bear!!  That doesn't seem so big, but trust me, when they are in your belly - it's quite big! Both of the girls are about 10.5 inches long (from head to rump, so a bit longer if you counted the legs) but, unlike the gummy bear which weighs in a 5 lbs(!!) the girls are only weighing roughly 12.7 ounces. 

Total weight gain: I just can't bring myself to share the number this week! Rest assured tough, my doctor knows and said it was still within range.  Wonder if she's going to take action and tell me how to stop gaining weight before my skin explodes from getting so big!!

Maternity clothes: I had to order some new one this week.  My tee's & tanks are getting too small around the belly - I was having to stretch on them before I could go out in public to make them appropriate.  So, I got ones that have the little tie/cinch around the belly/boob area and then just flow around the belly.  Hoping these work and last the rest of my pregnancy b/c honestly, I don't want any more money going into clothing I won't wear in another year.

Stretch marks: So far they've stayed to just my belly - but I spotted a few forming on my hips the other day.  Awesome.

Sleep:  Sleep is getting SO much better! I get up about once a night and other than that I'm out! Solid, heavy, deep, pregnancy sleep is amazing!

Best moment of this week: My OB appointment.  She was really reassuring that I was doing everything right, having a healthy twin pregnancy, and that the girls were doing what they were supposed to do too: growing! Oh, and my blood pressure has measured "textbook" for the last two weeks!! Finally!

Miss anything: Talking normally.  Seriously, it gets hard to breathe with all this baby in my belly! I'm a fast talker by nature, so I run out of oxygen pretty quickly when talking these days.

Movement: I thought I felt something on July 3rd, but I haven't felt anything since.  I'd really, really like to start feeling movement on a regular basis.  And - I'd like it to be a sure thing! Come on girls, kick me while it's still acceptable!!

Food cravings: Cheesecake.  Strange, I know.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Meat.  It's an ongoing thing, I think.  Although, I'm able to get beef, pork and brats in - but that doesn't make for a healthy mom!! Wish I could eat chicken again!

Have you started to show yet: I'm measuring at 30 weeks pregnant, so, yes.

Gender: 2 little girls!

Labor signs: Not yet, although there are a few things happening that I "have to keep an eye on" - if they start happening together or with other symptoms it could be a sign of pre-term labor.

Belly button in or out: In, but pretty shallow.  I don't know what I'm going to do when it pops out - the thought alone grosses me out!

Wedding rings on or off: Off - and have been for awhile, however, I had a little pregnancy moment yesterday and teared up over the fact I can't wear them on my finger.

Mood most of the time: I'll admit it, only here - so keep it a secret, I've been kind of emotional this week.  It's hard for me b/c I'm not typically an overly emotional person.  But I think I've either teared up, or had a good all out cry, at least once a day every day this week.  Geesh!

Looking forward to: Feeling movement :)

Nostalgia, anybody?

Anybody remember these little guys, The Weebles?  If you do - you're already singing their little catchy song, "Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!"

What does that have to do with pregnancy?  Well, right now, at 20 weeks I'm feeling like a life-sized Weeble! I wobble all over the place, and thankfully, I have yet to fall down! I'm feeling so, so big!

As a matter of fact, I had my monthly OB appointment this week and she measured my fundal height (aka how big the babies are making my belly) and I'm measuring 10+ weeks ahead.  Yep, I'm measuring at 30 weeks in comparison to a woman having a singleton pregnancy!! Holy moly!!

Guess I feel better about feeling like a Weeble - there's a reason behind it - not sure it makes this Weeble-like feeling any better...